I miss Charleston.

a lot.

I miss me there. I miss my life there. The people. The places.
The way I felt every morning when I woke up. My job...My church...

I miss having a vision. A goal every morning. Feeling like I was a part of something bigger.

I feel like Im losing focus.

I know that was a season. And I know this is a season. I am thankful for it all.

But I cant deny the fact that I miss what was.

But its like Jack said to Kate... let it in for 5 seconds. Feel it. Face it. Then let it go.

Ive let this in for more than 5 seconds but I soon need to move on. Look to tomorrow. Look at today.

God is so in control. He has purpose in every transition and season.

I want to remember that in the hurt and funk.

I praise God for his blessings in it all.

My heart was so filled and happy for the last few months... almost consistently... and this dry spell has caught me off gaurd. But it is so fine.


Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

a prayer

God, I don't want to live falsely, in self-imposed prisons and fixed, comfortable patterns that confine my soul and diminish the truth in me.. So much of me has gone underground. I want to let my soul out. I want to be free to risk what's true, to be myself. Set free the daring in me-the willingness to go within, to see self-lies. I'll try to run away, but don't let me. Don't let me stifle myself with prudence that binds the creative revisioning of life and the journey toward wholeness.
I am scared God. Make me brave. Lead me into the enormous spaces of becoming. Help me cease the small, tedious work maintaining and protecting so that I can break the masks that obscure your face shinning in the night of my own soul. Help me to green my soul and risk becoming the person you created me to be"(p.55)
-sue monk kidd

Jesus

http://myhillsong.com/jesus

quotes

Man is not at peace with his fellow man because he is not at peace with himself. He is not at peace with himself because he is not at peace with God.
-Thomas Merton

"The day that each person willingly accepts himself or herself for who he or she is and acknowledges the uniqueness of God's framing process marks the beginning of a journey to seeing the handiwork of God in each life."- ravi zacharais

Love is a command, not just a feeling. Somehow, in the romantic world of music and theater we have made love to be what it is not. We have so mixed it with beauty and charm and sensuality and contact that we have robbed it of its higher call of cherishing and nurturing.- ravi zacharais



We can disagree without being disagreeable
We can walk hand and hand without seeing eye to eye
We can have unity without uniformity
We can have collaboration for the best of America



I may be down but I will rise
It may be dark but God is light
-charlie hall



Just some quotes that have resonated with me lately.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing! sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

colossians 3:12-17- message version

I found some

I found some "beauty"... since this blog is called... "in search of beauty"

The story of Jane Eyre. Written by Charlotte Bronte. I have never read it but I did listen to the musical in high school. I always felt I would like it but never saw a film or read the book. But the other day I was in the Library and I saw the Masterpiece Theatre version from 2006.. so I picked it up and watched it the other night. all 3 1/2 hours of it. Up until 3:30am. It was captivating. I was giddy. It is a darker romance and sooo beautiful. Set in the early 1800's in England.

I love Jane...
She is plain, reserved, talented, empathetic, hard-working, honest, blunt, and passionate girl. Noble. She learns to love. She learns to be alive. To live. She struggles. She stands strong. She doesn't settle for less than passionate love. She loves Mr. Rodchester so deeply. So passionately. She realizes she can not live without him and loves him for his soul and not his appearence, wealth, or past.





this proposal scene took my breath away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU0DJFli4-A


I just love stories. Epic stories of love,loss, passion, and honor.

ok thats enough. I wanna play women like Jane.

monday in the park with me

I went to the Palmetto County Park today. Took my bike and just rode,read, and took pictures. Soaked in some nature. I love being outside. I love beautiful weather. I love the south for its weather. Ive not spent to much time up north or in cold places but I can imagine how gloomy the weather can make one feel. I love the sun. The clouds. The breeze. The glory of creation.